One of the strongest takeaways for me from this chapter in Every Moment Matters is this simple question: Who is in front of me? 👀
That question sounds basic, but it really challenged me.
As coaches, we can get locked in on systems, drills, structure, and our own preferences.
We think about what we want to teach and how we want things done. But this part of the book pushes us to start somewhere deeper. Before we coach the sport, we have to understand the person in front of us. That is where better coaching begins. 🤝
A big theme is that great coaching is athlete-centered and person-centered.
In other words, good coaching is not one-size-fits-all. It takes into account the needs, pace, values, and personality of the athlete being coached. That was a helpful reminder to me, because if the environment we create does not fit the athlete in front of us, we can end up missing opportunities to help that player really grow. 🎯
Athletes Need More Than Instructions ✨
Another thing I appreciated was the emphasis on athletes being active participants in learning, not just passive receivers of instruction.
As coaches, it is easy to fall into the habit of constantly directing, correcting, and telling players what to do. There is definitely a place for that.
Athletes grow more when they are involved in the process.
They need opportunities to think, notice, solve problems, and make decisions. They need room to discover. 🧠
That stood out to me because athletes who discover solutions in practice are much more likely to apply those solutions in competition.
Strong coaching is not always about giving the right answer right away. More often than not, it is about asking the right question and helping players think their way into growth.
That kind of coaching builds ownership, understanding, and maturity. 🔥
Help Them Love the Game ❤️
Our primary jobs as coaches is to help players fall in love with the game.
If we can help them love it, we put ourselves in a much better position to teach it. 🏀
Players, especially young players, need environments where they can play, create, experiment, and learn without feeling like every movement is being controlled. That does not mean coaches stop coaching. It means we have to learn when to step in and when to step back. 🌱
That was a good reminder for me, because we all feel the temptation to overcoach.
But sometimes the better move is to observe, let the athlete work through it, and help afterward if needed.
Players often understand more than we give them credit for. 👏
Get to Know Your Players Better 🤝
One of the most practical ideas from this chapter is simply getting to know our players better.
A question mentioned that I think is incredibly useful is this: “One thing I wish my coaches knew about me that would help them coach me better is …” 💬
That question can reveal things we might never know otherwise. It can help us understand what a player needs, how they think, and where we may be missing them. That is a powerful tool for any coach who really wants to coach the person and not just the sport.
I did this with my players and will share some of the feedback that I received.
When I ask questions, mid-game don’t just say “Play basketball!” because that’s not super helpful. Also don’t correct us/me on like not showing frustration when sometimes you don’t do a great job of that.
Try to talk as calmly as you can when I’m frazzled confused up on the court.
More personal encouragement because I am often frustrated with myself, so when coaches seem frustrated with me, I just feel down.
I learn best when you give me calm clear solutions instead of problems.
In the heat of the game, when I’m doing the wrong thing, instead of yelling/telling me things like that, tell me more constructive things. things that I could change. I know you can’t tell me exactly what to do but I’d like to know what I’m doing wrong exactly.
If I’m starting to get upset keep talking to me. It also helps when you say, “Go get the ball!” it makes me work harder!
Keep explaining things sometimes. I’m not sure what’s going on and explaining helps.
This was gold!💰
My only regret? That I didn’t do it sooner.
Another question from this section that I really like is: “How can I be better for you?” 🙏
That is such a simple question, but it communicates humility, care, and a real willingness to grow as a coach.
Coach the Person, Not Just the Player 🧭
If we want to coach more effectively, we have to build environments that fit the athletes in front of us, not just the habits and preferences we are most comfortable with.
That means creating an athlete-centered environment, adjusting our coaching to fit our players, evaluating our own habits honestly, and listening more carefully to the people we lead. 🎯👂
When we connect with the individual and coach the person, not just the sport, we will reach far more athletes than we ever will through a rigid one-size-fits-all approach.
And that matters, because most of us are not just trying to build better players.
We are trying to help shape better people. 💡
Scripture fits this well: “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” Jas. 1:19.
Coaches who listen well lead better.
And “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others” Phil. 2:4.
Athlete-centered coaching begins when we stop making it mostly about us and start paying closer attention to the people God has placed in front of us. 🙏❤️
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